Britney Spears is Converting to Judaism?

Everybody knows that if you're from North Jersey, you tell people you're from New York and if you're from South Jersey, you tell people you're from Philly (the latter are known of South Jersey losers). So since I'm a sophisticated Jew, essentially form NYC, I have a subscription to the New Yorker. Unlike most Jews though, I don't usually enjoy their Shouts & Murmurs comedy section (AKA the one to two page comedy essay usually written by someone with a Jewish name, sometimes named Woody Allen). Unlike most New Yorker articles, Shouts isn't eighteen pages long, interesting yet overly wordy.

But last week's installment had an decidedly hysterical Jewish tone.


via New Yorker

Entitled Britney's Conversion Diary and based on the idea that Britney was considering converting for a new boyfriend (according to The Sun), this is one of the funnier pieces of humor writing I've read in a long time. Cursing, Jewish jokes, making fun of Rabbis & breaking down Jewish laws into tweets all in first paragraph. Enjoy!

Here's a sample if you're still not convinced, here is the previously described opening paragraph:

Shalom, Diary: I think Rabbi Pearlstein is really pissed at me. Today in Jewish class he was going through the Halakha, which I thought was the Jewish word for Hannah Montana but turns out to be like a whole bunch of boring laws about days of the week and pork and shit, and I was like, “Rabbi P., is there any way you could break this down into a bunch of tweets? I’ll read it on my phone on the way to rehearsal.” He got so mad those curls on the sides of his head started shaking. (I don’t know why he won’t let my stylist snip them off. They’re not a good look for him, K.?) On the plus side, he taught me this awesome Jewish trivia fact: You don’t have to call Jewish people “Jewish people.” It turns out they don’t mind being called plain old “Jews.” LOL.

Nazi Gnomes = Art?

This isn't specifically NJ related but anything Nazi related is of great importance to North Jersey Judaism.

via Time Magazine

What could possibly make someone want to create gnomes giving the Nazi salute? Let the artist speak for himself:

The gnome's creator, German artist Ottmar Hörl, says he never intended to offend anyone, and can't understand what all the fuss is about. He points out that 700 of his saluting gnomes went on show in Ghent, Belgium, at the end of last year to no complaints. "They were part of an exhibition against the far right," he says. "Nobody had a problem with them." Each of the gnomes has the word poisoned inscribed at its base. "People everywhere in the world can be ideologically poisoned, just as Germans were by the Nazis," says Hörl. The artist defends his work as a form of satire — he just wanted to poke fun at the Nazis by depicting them as gnomes. "I would probably have been killed by the Nazis if I'd dared to depict the Aryan 'super race' as gnomes in 1942," he says.

Hörl, 59, says he's fascinated by the symbol of the garden gnome, which has its origins in Germany — many believe the first ceramic garden gnomes were made in the central German town of Gräfenroda in the mid-19th century — and regularly features it in his work. "The garden gnome is an ironic figure," he says. "We don't take it seriously, but it can hold a serious message."

Germany takes this stuff pretty seriously; they are pretty stringent on their Nazi stuff. Prosecutors are currently looking into the case. Oh, what a world.

Read the full article, Nazi Gnomes in Germany.

The North Jersey Young Mogul

I was flipping through New York Magazine last week when I flipped to a feature called "The Legacy." I looked at the picture and thought I was looking at some internet young gun, a visionary creator of some site that I stumble on occasional basis. The picture resembled a photo I saw a few months ago of Mark Zuckerberg, the king of Facebook.

from NY Magazine

Then I read the headline opening and did a double take. It was an article about a 28 year old named Jared Kushner. Kushner is a big name in the North Jersey Jewish community. The name seemed to bandied about in various major organizations and the family built a competing yeshiva day school in New Jersey while I was in high school. I went there once to compete with them in indoor soccer and took a look around at a beautiful state of the art campus with amazing facilities that was just starting to take off.

Back to Jared, I went to high school with him. If I remember correctly, he was the captain of the hockey team and dated some of the more attractive girls in the school. Not that this was surprising. The school that I attended, even though housed in a dingy location, was full intelligent, wealthy, upper-class minds. Yet it is still surprising to see a cover feature on him & to be informed that he now owned The New York Observer, a newspaper (admittedly, one I've never read).

The article goes on to tell the crazy trials and tribulations of Jared's father and how he ended up in jail forcing Jared to jump up to the plate and take over the family business. Again, the story was surprising, I heard frequent tales of families torn apart by money, especially when it came to millions/billions of dollars. All of this was interesting but not that shocking.

My shock came when the section turned to his love life. Jared was dating the beautiful, ultimate shiksa, Ivanka Trump, the seed of the combined forces of Donald & Ivanna Trump. Then the article went onto a more interesting issue that doesn't usually come up in the press but was very intriguing:

Dating Ivanka was fraught with family peril. Though she is converting to Judaism, studying with Rabbi Haskel Lookstein at Congregation Kehilath Jeshurun on East 85th Street, it has not always been easy. Jared’s mother, in particular, has struggled with their relationship. Last summer, Seryl told Jared to cool it. They broke up for a time but soon got back together. Ivanka told me she and Jared plan to marry, but they aren’t officially engaged. "I am studying," she said of her conversion, "and it’s been an amazing and fulfilling experience for me" One of the jokes I first started making when Jared and I first started dating is, I’m a New Yorker, I’m in real estate. I’m as close to Jewish, with an i-s-h’ naturally as anyone can start off."

Jared must be quite the man. I might have spoken to him once or twice on the gym basketball court but I never figured anyone I ever knew would be dating or considering marrying The Donald's daughter.

via Gawker

I'm not to hip to Page Six so I went online to do some further research and found out the couple even had a combo name like Bennifer (Ben Affleck & Jennifer Lopez, I believe). The name was J-Vanka. Not bad, maybe it could be changed to Jew-Vanka. Since the article has been released, the couple has been officially engaged, maybe the article egged it on? Mazel Tov! These could be the most attractive babies in the world. Gawker has an assortment of quotes from Ivanka on the couples' relationship.

But the real question is will Ivanka Trump become Ivanka Kushner? It doesn't have the same ring. Will it be a dash deal? Ivanka Trump-Kushner? Will Kushner be a future board member on The Apprentice, giving it a youthful & Jewish flavor? When will the nasty, public divorce take place that is inevitable with any Trump-related marriage? Only time will tell. Good luck J-Vanka.

Related Articles
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The Legacy - New York Magazine Feature

Ivanka Trump & Jared Kushner Totally Get To Do It Now (Gawker)

Holocaust Denial on Facebook

Facebook’s latest highly charged political issue & American philosophical debate has pretty widely covered around the web. Facebook doesn’t allow college drunken breasts on their site but Holocaust deniers are considered free speech. Is “pornography” AKA exposed human body parts that are no problem in any country outside the prudish formerly Evangelically Christian run USA a worse offense that allowing your site to be a home for deniers of what 99.9% of the world consider a absolute historical fact and travesty?

I may be a bit bias on this front since I have a Holocaust surviving grandparent (although I did not get to see the any of the genocide first hand since I couldn’t be the grandson as well as survivor of The Third Reich).  Holocaust denial is a pretty ludicrous endeavor.  I was unable to find an official quote from FDR, but FDR sis make a a statement that there was a need to document the camp so people couldn't try to disprove the atrocities that occurred there yet some people will never be convinced. (Usually I'd put a link here to a holocaust denial site but I want no part of giving traffic or credence to any site of that ilk.)

When I think about "free speech"/ 1st amendment issues, Holocaust denial seems to be the ultimate test.  American prides itself on allowing an openness in all manners of public forums (except for the quirky fire in a crowded theater conundrum) yet is full of hate crime and anti-gay legislation that incurs further punishment when these topics are broached.  As a 20-something average American man, my issues with nudity that is primarily that there should be more of it from attractive ladies but could do without other forms (but that is preference not mandate).  Trying to maintain Holocaust denial as fact could be more closely construed as libel against an atrocity, a people, and their homeland. 

So what does as this pussyfoot mean for the Facebook groups?  It means while I can't  fathom the true reasoning behind it, if people want to maintain a cluster of thinking in this vein, it should be allowed but maybe they should allow for an opposing group to post on the group as well with their contrarian mainstream view/proof of the Holocaust but then you would have to give the deniers the same right on the other side.  

Facebook is a perfect location for this kind of dialogue because while the average teenager has probably never watched a daily newscast, they can't go a few hours without logging into their Facebook and check on their friends.  It would be nice to see Facebook to evolve into a place where passionate people can express intelligent views rather than monotonous tedious updates of music quotes, insider jokes, & annoying quiz updates. 

If Facebook can do that, then truly it will have arrived a s a true social networking site, it will become a culture.  It will become an cafe in pairs in the 18th century where issues were discussed and fleshed out by leaders of thought rather than the internet personification of a nightclub or of young people being over-revealing of their personal lives while shouting down a well where no one will hear them.

So go ahead deniers, enjoy your group but it don't be upset when more people laugh at you then when you were on the fringes because no matter what, the more mainstream the idiocy comes to light, the more heat it will be under.  Having these hate groups could lead lead to ultimate undoing... and bring on more college party breasts. ----------------
Related Articles

Facebook, breasts - no; Holocaust denial groups - yes. (Adotas)
Facebook confirms removal of two Holocaust denial groups (CNET)
Holocaust Denial (Wikipedia)

Jewish Men's Softball Season

With the arrival of an unpredictable mix of lengthy rains and muggy days with scattered beautiful days in between, the spring has arrived in New Jersey. For many fellow tribesman in the area, this means the arrival of softball season. Jewish men's softball has been a part of my life as long as I can remember. For years, Sundays from April to August meant, my father would drag me to an assortment of terrible manicured fields around Bergen County to watch him and his merry band of men play softball. The reason Jews go to softball is because they are not adept enough for baseball and I wouldn't trust a guy named Shlomo throwing a curve ball on Sundays morning at 8 AM.

It's a time of great reprieve. Jewish men from all over bargain with their wives for a little bit of free time on Sunday mornings to get in a bit of athletic activity (even though half the members of the team's have pinch runners). They take a break from child-rearing and bean counting to compete in a league full of evolving rules, average players, and consistently bad umpiring. For a long time, there were only two rules for admission to the league, you had to be over 18 and you had to be Jewish. That latter rule has long been avoided by some players since there is no circumcision test on the application and if there was, that would be real creepy. At a certain point, because of chronic mismanagement & favorable treatment to certain teams (usually related to who was running the league), the robust league over 20+ teams has become shrunk down to the mid-teens but if I keep going on the politics of a Jewish men's softball league I could digress eternally into an unreadable entry.

There is a quite the charm to the league. While a normal softball league will have standard team names like Sluggers, Killers or Madmen or just have a business name printed after a sponsor, the Jewish teams take another approach. The team names are primarily influenced by aspects of faith with defunct but classic team names like NYOTB (New Yids on the Block), the Minyanaires (my dad's old team), & the Ten Plagues. When I joined the league was the Mispuchah, my team's name (yiddish for family). the name came form an obvious place, my dad was influenced by having a few father/son & brother combination on the team. We wore yellow jerseys with black lettering that were reminiscent of the old 70's "We are Family" Pirates. Current team names include The Golems, The Moyals, the Mighty Menschen, & the Goniffs.

The team, at first, was full of 40 somethings trying to relive their glory days of sports tied by the bond of our communal synagogue like most teams. But eventually, we got competitive by adding younger, better players here and there while still maintaining our array of immobile players who either played catcher, EH (Extra Hitter, a softball-exclusive position) or sporadically playing a random position in the field like right field or second base with he hope that no one would hit them the ball or that they didn't screw up too much. As the Mispuchah, we won a few B-league championships (the A leagues are for the REALLLL Jewy Jews).

That's what a championship team looks like. I'm there somewhere.

Jewish softball is about hitting, kibbitzing, and complaining about calls from the piss poor umpires. I'm convinced their is some type of discrimination against the league or that, more likely, we pay the least for umpires so they send us the umpires worth the least (AKA worthless). Every call of almost every game seems to be challenged. Every decent play in the field is blown out of congratulatory proportions.

In a battle with one of the many bad umps.

So far this year has been quite uneven. Along with multiple rain outs, the captain of the team I play for (AKA my dad) called the Elite (which this team definitely isn't comprised of) has really outdone himself. The Elite won last year's C-Division Championship - a new low in Jewish Men's softball which was comprised of 6 of the worst softball teams you could imagine. This year we have a roster comprised over what must be 80 people. I think the captain forgot that only 10 people can play at a time and that old, cranky Jewish men are prone to complaining and slow to accept their deteriorating skill set. Just because a guy once led off and played left field 15 years ago doesn't mean at 55, he should do that over an in shape and skilled kid half his age but this is the type of quandary that seems to have to be dealt with on a weekly basis.

What do you do when 16 guys show up for 10 positions in a 6 inning game to a league with little league rules (everyone has play)? If you're our captain, you bat all 16 guys. It's completely ridiculous. It's unfathomable. While this appeases those who weren't going to play, it aggravates those who should be playing to the point that they no longer want to play. It's a perfect microcosm of the Jewish community at large. The old men ask why don't the young people get involved in the synagogue even though they are the ones squashing the enthusiasm of those young people to get involved to the point that they discard their community in favor of alternate activities involving people with interests that mesh with theirs.

In our last game, we won 4-2. For those of you, not familiar with softball, it is a high scoring version of baseball that usually has football scores rather than baseball scores unless you have good teams with very skilled defense. In our case, it was the futility in the two teams hitting. It was horrid. I would say 4 balls in the whole game left the infield besides errors, which were plentiful.

The biggest travesty is that the leagues is supposed to be more than a month in and still doesn't have a schedule. The schedule is posted every week for that week on a hideous website that used to play "Who's on First?" by Abbott & Costello and now has moved onto George Carlin 's "Baseball vs. Football" routine. Jews love their comedy but the league is the real joke.

So 2009 has arrived and the league is a still a joke. So why do I play? Because no matter how annoying it all is, it's fun to compete and usually it's good for a few laughs. The Elite are undefeated right now at 3-0. If you'd like you can follow along with our standings in the Greenberg Division (named after Hank).

Till next time, when we'll be talking Nazis on Facebook and much more, this has been the North Jersey Jew Report.

The First Basket: A Jewish Basketball Documentary

I was reading an article in Indie Slate magazine at Barnes & Noble (where else would a Jew be on Easter?) There was an interesting article about an independently produced documentary called The First Basket. The website features a summary of the segments and the story but here's an interesting nugget:

"On November 1, 1946, in the opening game of the fledgling Basketball Association of America (BAA), Ossie Schectman scored the opening basket for the New York Knickerbockers against the Toronto Huskies. Schectman and his teammates Sonny Hertzberg, Stan Stutz, Hank Rosenstein, Ralph Kaplowitz, Jake Weber, and Leo "Ace" Gottlieb went on to win the opening game 68 – 66 and finish the season with a 33 – 27 record. In 1949, the BAA became the National Basketball Association (NBA), and Schectman's shot is considered the first basket in the NBA.

In fact, several of the BAA and NBA teams had evolved out of the semi-pro teams, settlement houses, playgrounds, schoolyard and community center leagues, and college teams that sprung from the Jewish inner-city neighborhoods of the early 20th century. While the era of Jewish professional basketball players has passed, the story of these sports pioneers illustrates how the American 20th Century was shaped by the experiences of many immigrant groups."

Though not confirmed, Jews stopped playing when the league insisted on Shabbos games and the ability to jump more than 6 inches off the ground at the time of their physical peak. First Basket is being screened at various locales that Jews congregate such as JCC's & Jewish film festivals across the nation.

Newsweek to Prove That Jews Still Run the Media

 

As a Jew, the magazines I read are primarily influenced on first who offers the best price and then quality so when Newsweek offered basically a free subscription I dropped Time Magazine (and because we get it at the office although my boss doesn't know how to read and brings it in 3 weeks late which is three weeks earlier then my father gets to read his weeklies which is about 5 weeks to late.)

I usually don't have much interest in religion itself, which is not obvious from this blog's title, but more interested in things that reflect Jewish culture so these weekly sum-ups on the downfall of power of Evangelicals Christian after their President has left office seems pretty obvious to me. Cover stories for these weekly magazines are usually the most overly verbose and self indulgent pieces of repetitive punditry spew and Newsweek Editor Jon Meacham's "The Decline & Fall of Christian America" is not really something that noteworthy. What amuses me more is the opening section of the magazine: the News & Notes, the tidbits, basically what amounts to the printed "blog entries" for people that don't do the internet in Florida except for getting e-mail pictures of their grandkids.

If you read this early section, in the span of 5 pages there are two articles that perfect combination of America & the Jews, both with amazing titles, The Fate of a Million Foreskins & in the Belief Watch segment "Is Your Rabbi Hot or Not?." Here's the gist of the circumcision article:

"Following a 1999 report from the American Academy of Pediatrics, which said that the health benefits of circumcision were not significant enough to make the procedure mandatory, Medicaid programs began dropping coverage. Ever since, new parents in 16 states have been discovering that getting it done anyway will run about $300. According to a January report by researchers at UCLA, the cost has had a serious impact: the circumcision rate in states offering coverage for it is, on average, 24 percent higher than in the states that don't. And that's based on data only through 2004, the most current year available; with unemployment rising and more Americans turning to public insurance, the disparity can be expected to grow. "The $300 is a luxury," says Dr. Andrew Freedman, director of pediatric urology at L.A.'s Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. "For many people [it] is an insurmountable barrier.""

The second article I couldn't even bring myself to read thinking of the average, non-descript Rabbi of the synagogue that I play basketball at, boring old Rabbi Weiner. This must be one of the stupidest lists in history. Do these rabbis have stats on their back of their rabbinical cards as the point of comparison and wearing those suits all the time they must get warm? I know I do just looking at them.

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As a huge fucking side note (and I'm sure I'm not alone), I'm real fucking tired of Tweeting and Twittering, watching newscasters read tweets on the air and calling it news. The modern day version of the man on the street that I couldn't give a shit about wasting airtime and before you say, "just change the channel" I wanted to see how long they could interpret texting language into speech for (the answer was ten minutes). This might be the height of hypocrisy, demeaning internet technology while writing a blog post but maybe I'm an old man of the internet.

As I'm typing this and watching the Red Sox versus the Angels is on and the sideline reporter is talking about tweeting and talking at the same time and this conversation is wasting three minutes of time of the game. I have the game on to watch baseball players not waste of space guys who pop in for comic relief every five minutes but Americans ability to focus on one channel if they aren't entertained for more sixty seconds is approaching three percent of the TV watching population so then dumbfuck Mcgee must talk about tweeting on his phone or a dipshit text poll that doesn't matter so the crowd can feel like they are interacting with the event. An event can no longer be an event, unless it's the Masters which is on a competing channel. The Masters is an anomaly with no promos or loud rock tunes leading in and out of segments and only 3 minutes of commercials per hour by two sponsors. It's a yuppie tournament by a yuppie sport that hasn't been ruined by modern technology. It's a serene event to watch although it would probably be more interesting to sit on my front step and watch cars passing by.

Did I forget to mention Chag Sameach & have a soulful Passover Seder!

The 2009 Jewish Self Deprecating Convention AKA Jon Stewart interviews Seth Rogen on the Daily Show

It is a quite a Matzo Ball laced treat when Jon Stewart gets to exchange barbs about Jusdiasm and bulimia with the newly slim Judd Apatow stoner comedy star Seth Rogen. Both men use their Jewishness as a crutch for their extremely self-deprecating style of humor. Stewart doesn't let a segment of his Daily Show go by without a quirky Jewish mannerism. Rogen makes at least one Jewish joke per starring role (most apparently in Pineapple Express & Knocked Up). A Rogen Jewish Joke even pops up in his summer role in Judd Apatow's Adam Sandler Movie Funny People. Take a look, it's about half way through.



Rogen was promoting a two-for, with the back to back releases of his starring vocals in Monsters vs. Aliens, as well as his version R-Rated of Paul Blart: Mall Cop entitled Observe & Report (how did 2009 become so blessed that it not only had one Jersey Mall cop movie but two!) Stewart's humor seems to be getting better with age and has a twinkle of intelligence. Rogen's range is really not there comedic ally and starting to tire with me. But if you enjoy Rogen, there will be plenty of him in the future. Who'd have thought a Jew would write and star in a superhero movie? Rogen is taking on the Green Hornet but has some help with the amazing guiding force of Michel Gondry. If nothing else, Rogen has been smart to work with good people on most of his films. Enjoy the Jewish Comedy Fest from Mar. 31.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Seth Rogen
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

The North Jersey Jew Goes To Iceland (Plus A Short History of Icelandic Jewry) & Pics

NOTE: All pictures in this post were taken by me except for this puffin.

When starting a blog, some might say it's not an opportune time to go on vacation (unless you're going to blog the whole time so people can follow your vacation). I disagree. Going on vacation gives one time to think things out, plot out some entries, collect ones thoughts, and come back refreshed, ready spill one's guts.

The most common question I got when deciding to go to Iceland was, "why would you go there?" My answer was usually, "why not?" But the question has justification. Why would a person who has gone through 3-4 months of weather that would kill a Californian on a daily basis choose to go to a place that doesn't have a warm climate? For one, I'm not the tropical vacation type and while I do love California, it isn't because of the warmth. It's because of the attitude and the way it is diametrically opposed to the NJ/NYC way of life. Everything is easy going in a way, each city in a different way. Not easy going like retired Jewish grandparents in Florida with their early bird dinners and the measured I'm-old-so-I-own-the-road-driving.

I'm not going to lie and say it was not influenced by Sigur Ros & Bjork either (and no I didn't see either walking around in the streets). The flight on Icelandair does showcase the amazingly beautiful Sigur Ros documentary of when they travelled around their home country performing impromptu free shows to the delight of their countrymen. The decision also has to do with the idea of going somewhere intriguing and being able to tell other people that. Basically, I wanted to show off at how cool I really am.

The most important factor in the decision is where the real Jew in me comes out, the price. The world is in an economic recession which means money is tight and when money is tight in the world, it's even tighter in a Jewish wallet. Yet this also led to the perfect storm for the trip. March is offseason for Icelandic tourism. It's right between the Northern Lights/ 20 hour days of darkness and the summer and its 20 hours of light per day.

It helps that Iceland is basically bankrupt & with bankruptcy comes deals. Their currency is worth half of it was worth at its highs as recently as last year. Jews love deals. On the specific dates I chose, a flight that generally costs at least $1200 only costs $800. It's also not some crazy 10 hour flight (like going to Israel) but more manageable 5 & ½ hours, a bout as long as a trip to California. The hotel in the center of the city, one that I still can't pronounce after staying there for a week that can cost $200+ was about $70 a night. Amazingly crafted day trips like snowmobiling on a glacier (which I actually did do) that would have cost $400 a person was less than $200. Basically, it was a real deal.

All I can say is that it was quite a trip. The city was lively but not crowded just how I like it. Everything that I wanted to do I was able to, no tours were booked up, no museums were packed. Here's a small list of my favorite things/activities in Iceland:

1. Snowmobiling on a Glacier – For a person who gets the brunt of all four seasons in the US and that enjoys winter, I have never been one for winter sports, outside of football (if that even counts). I went to Vermont once but didn't ski. I don't snowmobile. My winter sporting activities have been limited to the pastime of school snow-day sledding, shoveling out the driveway, and peeing in the snow to see it turn yellow. But this was quite amazing. It wasn't some five minute trek where the guide holds your hand. You sign a "waiver", basically one paragraph on top of a sign in sheet. They drive you up near the top of the glacier in Snow Cat (basically a giant Hummer with huge snow tire) on a path that before they were driving on it was no road but just tight turns on an icy stretch that no person should actually be able to drive without dying more than once or twice in a lifetime. Then you get up there, they turn on the snowmobiles and say follow us at speeds of 40+ km per hour. You learn by doing. I flipped over the snowmobile which was highly dangerous but unbelievably invigorating.

   

2. The Golden Circle Tour – Outside of Reykjavik, the entire country is populated with more scenic views and natural occurring wonders than actual people. There is one major road that basically circles a collection of mountains, unique looking farms with Icelandic horses running about, and central to the Golden Circle Tour – the Geysir and the Gulfoss. The Geysir that that take you is where the word Geysir comes from. The day we went it was unbelievably but still a very interesting site. Then they took us to the Gulfoss, (which translates as "Golden Falls"), a huge waterfall with beautiful views and none of the kitschy Niagara Falls type crap. It was one of at least five beautiful waterfalls that we saw in our trekking of primarily the South and East of Iceland.
3. The Cafes – While I wasn't much for the food of the country being a vegetarian in a land of Fish lovers, I found their coffee to be excellent and affordable especially at Te & Kaffi which were sprinkled through Reykjavik. I also just love books in general and loved seeing alternate European versions and especially the Icelandic translations of American bestsellers like James Patterson and "He's Just Not that Into You."
4. Funny Signs – Funny/unique signs are only funny to individuals, generally to those who share the same sense of humor; mine is on the darker side. Here are a few of my favorites.
5. Reykjavík 871±2 – A small exhibition in a basement of a hotel based around the ruins of the oldest discovered ruins of Icelandic Viking Settlement. A very modern interactive exhibition where you can stand within inches of these preserved ruins while learning plenty of interesting information about the period as only the Icelandic can do it. Here's a picture of the ruins:

I didn't mention the bar scene previously but for those who are into that, it is very active, lively, and probably one of the main attractions for people in their 20s and 30s. Going to Iceland is the antithesis in temperature to the "Home Land" yet has its interesting ethnic roots. One interesting connection is the language. Many linguists believe that Icelandic is just a preserved version of the original Viking Dialects of when Iceland was settled in the 9^th and 10^th centuries. Hebrew is very old as well and Jews still speak it. All in all, I'd highly recommend anyone go to Iceland, Jewish or not unless you can't bare the sight of snow and make sure to pack some warm articles of clothing.

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For those of you who want to know what the Jewish community is like in Iceland, Wikipedia has an answer of course:

"The Jewish community in Iceland today is almost non-existent. Religious observance is very liberal and the community uses a printed Torah scroll. In recent years, there have been four bar- and bat mitzvahs in Reykjavík. The Jewish community has discussed applying for registration as a religious organization, but there has never been sufficient interest to do so.

There are Jewish singles tours to Iceland, with a Shabbat service in a geothermal lagoon. There are reports of Jews being buried in the old cemetery in Reykjavík and of headstones engraved with the Star of David. However, the Star of David was used by the Freemasons and does not prove any connection to Judaism.

Despite the tiny population of Jews in Iceland, the First Lady of Iceland is Dorrit Moussaieff. She is an Israeli Bukharian Jew. Moussaieff has also introduced the Jewish culture to Iceland in a very positive way."

I also found this building but I'm not sure what it is. If anyone knows, let me know. That is a Jewish star on top.

More Links to Jewish info on Iceland:

History of Jew in Iceland on Wikipedia

Essay: Iceland, the Jews, and Anti-Semitism, 1625-2004 by Vilhjálmur Örn Vilhjálmsson – This may be the only essay ever to open up with a description of the relationship between Jews & the Vikings.

Anti-Semitism rears head in Iceland (Jerusalem Post Feb. 1, 2009)

Is He Jewish? Demetri Martin

Jews loving playing the "Is he (or her) Jewish? game. What's so fascinating about it to them is the varying characteristics that Jews are supposed to inherently have and also it is a way of subverting the Nazis own way of playing the game. (They did it by looks, suspicions, and in the most extreme cases birth certificates.) Last night, I was watching re-watching the premiere of "Important Things with Demetri Martin" and wondering if Martin was a member of the tribe.

First off, you have to play this game earlier in people's career if they are famous because inevitably it will become a big deal in the Jewish community and all the Jews will start chatting the person up at the synagogue once the news breaks. Jewish mothers saying things like "Did you hear about that Natalie Portman? She is one beautiful Israeli, although she should have stuck with her real last name which is Herschlag. She is an amazing Jewish actress. I'd see anything she's in." Blah, blah, blah. Second, you have to not cheat by looking it up with the obligatory Wikipedia check, or on lists like JewsinSports. (The list for Hollywood is probably called NonJewsinHollywood, it is an easier list to come up with).

There are three major factors that go into observing Jewishness in a person. One might qualify for all and not be Jewish (which becomes a "not a Jew to the goyim, but it's got be in the blood somewhere up the line." There is appearance/mannerisms, profession, and name. Of course, there is the fourth, circumcision, but that is hard to find out and not usually help in respect to women.

Let's start with the name first. First you look at the last name. Any combination of green, gold, silver, with a suffix like stein, berger, burger, itz, eli is a good sign. Martin is pretty unhelpful. It is not severely tilted toward an ethnicity like Gonzalez or a Christopher. Demetri doesn't help much either. There are Jews in the Russian/Eastern European countries but they usually go for the Dmitri version. This version is a bit Americanized and possibly a bit Jewicized. I'd call name a wash, non helpful in the quest.

Job is comedian. Not just a comedian but a whining observational comedian (see Jerry Seinfeld et al). This is definitely a checkmark in the Jew column. Some select shorter jokes include (from Demetri Martin quotes):

• I wonder what the word for dots looks like in braille.
• If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
• The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

Important Things with Demetri MartinWed 10:30pm / 9:30c

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Of course delivery is usually the best part of jokes and Demetri has a deadpan style which brings up appearance/mannerism.

Demetri has an awkward, goofy, self-deprecating style. His delivery is very akin to the deceased genius Mitch Hedberg but with a Northeastern educated vocal stylings than Mitch's California chillmeister delivery. Speaking of Mitch:

Back to the task at hand. He has a Napoleon Dynamite-like way of movement and could be a Jon Heder stand in at time. Although, if the first episode of "Important Things" is any indication, his comedic prowess is building while Heder's has already faded away.

Is he circumcised? I don't know.

Additional Factors: I went to a preview screening a few weeks ago of Ang Lee's next film Taking Woodstock, about the roots of the original Woodstock in 1969. The film's main character is a down on his luck Jewish interior decorator from NYC who moves back home with hotel-owning his parents to upstate New York and ends up turning a permit for a local arts festival into possibly the most famous musical event in history. Who plays this young Jewish man? None other than the nebbishy Demetri Martin and he does it very well. The move has a lot of intriguing parts and interesting characters including another great supporting performance by Emile Hirsch as a soldier just back from Vietnam and Liev Schreiber as a transvestite bodyguard. The film shows no actual concert footage or recreation, focusing on the planning stages and the people who went to Woodstock. It is scheduled to be released this summer in conjunction with the 40^th anniversary.

So back to the task at hand, is Demetri Martin Jewish? I'm partial to no. It's just a gut feeling, call it a Jewdar. It's as if he's too Jewish to be Jewish.

Let's look up the answer on the Wikipedia…

Looks like Martin is a Greek Orthodox. His father is a Greek Orthodox priest. One interesting thing is that even though he appears to be much younger, especially because of his recent fame, but Demetri is actually 35 years old. See you next time on Are They Jewish?

Israeli Chicks are Hot This Week: Bar Rafaeli & The Palin of Israel?

I'm not usually a big fan of Israeli chicks, or Jewish women, nor am I usually enamored with their beauty in general but this week has been especially kind to coming to their defense.I know it's hard to believe but that is 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover girl Bar Rafaeli. With a name like that, it's not hard to believe that she is an Israeli. She's no Marissa Miller (2008 cover girl and supreme beauty), but Bar has some assets to truly offer this year's new spank bank for teenage American boys. SI has 40+ images available of Rafaeli from this year's shoot.

She even rang the Closing Bell at the NYSE to excite the few remaining brokers that still have jobs. She actually rang it too early but it must be hard after her rigorous interview schedule all day. Sportsbiz also has a CNBC "business" interview between Rovell and Rafaeli.

Sports Illustrated has their own informational video on Rafaeli:

If you're more into the heat of the Israeli elections, you might have heard Orly Levy. According to Right Pundits' bio:

"Orly Levy, 36, is a married mother of three running for Israel's Parliament. She is a member of the conservative Beitenu Party. The party is a self-described nationalist organization that stands for the separation of Gaza from the West Bank, suggesting that Israel treats Gaza the way China treats Hong Kong. …Ms. Levy, by her own admission, has no political experience. She has served in the Israeli Air Force and has a degree in Law. She also has experience as a model, and has hosted a variety of Israeli television shows. Levy comes from a very prominent family, as her father is a former Israeli foreign minister."

It doesn't hurt her political aspirations that she also looks like this:

Nice shot in fron the the Israeli flag if I may say. Levy has been quoted as saying, "I have no political experience at all." To run for VP of the USA, you need to at least have been the mayor of Wasilla and the Governor of Alaska.

Newsweek's Kevin Peraino has a better name for her. His article is entitled "The Palin of Israel." Etgar Keret, one of Israel's pre-eminent writers and newly award winning filmmaker for his excellent film Jellyfish, is quoted the topic on Palin Middle East, "This would be like Paris Hilton going to the Senate. You could make a reality show about this."