AJWS & Judd Apatow's "Public Service Announcement"

A few weeks ago, I attended a 25th anniversary celebration/fundraiser for American Jewish World Services (AJWS).  AJWS is not your average Jewish organization.  AJWS represents the American Jewish community in outreach on causes worldwide, not just Jewish/Israel-centric issues

According to their website, they "fund hundreds of grassroots organizations working to promote health, education, economic development, disaster relief, and social and political change in the developing world. We work with women, youth, ethnic, religious and sexual minorities, indigenous people, refugees and IDPs and people living with HIV/AIDS."

Most recently they have been very involved in issues in Haiti since the catastrophic earthquake early this year.

The video was introduced by the videos writer Jordan Rubin, a comedian and a writer for The Man Show (not the creator of The Bible Diet). Rubin claims to be the writer but he most likely just came up with the concept of the video itself and allowed for the talented people involved to let their improv skills shine.

The video is based on the concept of goyim saying, "I am not a Jew but I support AJWS."  These are not just your average non-Jews. Apatow got a real powerhouse crew to get behind this cause.  Actors & Comedians like Tracy Morgan, Ken Jeong (that Asian guy whose in everything including the hilarious Community), Keifer Sutherland, the Don John son, and plenty of other surprises. THere is even an appearance by the Machete Danny Trejo. There are Jews in the video as well, although the most screen time goes to Sarah Silverman since she actually comes off as one of the funnier parts of the video.

And then there is weird, awkward appearance by Lindsey Lohan, which attempts to be funny but is actually a bit sad. If she wasn't already wealthy, they might want to start a foundation in honor of whatever disease appears to be afflicting her.

While the video is a bit long, it is quite amusing and is for a good cause so if you are looking for a organization as a tax write off this year, think about AJWS as an organization that spreads the word on a large assortment of unpublicized causes that need help as well. Besides, everyone always donates to cancer so be different this year.

Is He Jewish? Amare Stoudemire Edition

It's finally here. The thing all NY Knicks fans have been waiting for and it's the newly deposed King James.  It's Amare visiting the homeland of many of of the Garden's frequent visitors as well as one out of every three people in NYC. Amare has hit up Israel yo.

Watch this first:

Yes, Mr. Amare is wearing a white kippah and professing that we are all basically Jews but that last minute of humorous attempts on pronouncing some Hebrew.  Don't forget how he continues to refers the one Israeli player in the NBA Omri Casspi as Omar.  Shockingly, Amare's agent is Jewish as well.  Who'da thunk that?

According to further reports, Amare traveled to Israel to look into his Jewish roots.  Amare's mother was Jewish, which according to long held Jewish law makes Amare as Jewish man no matter what, possibly the tallest Jew in history.  I can only imagine the signs that are to fill the Garden next year.  And I can guarantee that his agent will be working on his Hebrew pronunciation, maybe he can even be a urban pitch man for Manischewitz.

Here's an additional report of his travels as well:

Definitive answer: Amare Stoudemire doesn't consider himself full blown Jew... yet.  But gives him a few years and he might be showing up to the Lincoln Center Synagogue for High Holiday services, maybe even be recruited in his later years to an all-star JCC over-40 team.  He did say in the first interview that he plans to keep Shabbat, except when they have a game... so he's conservative.  Amare is a prototypical modern Jew. And if his knee fall apart, this future Chabadnik will make the Knicks will be more imminently watchable than they have been in years and Amare will make more ESPN Top 10's for the Knicks than the last years combined. Welcome to New York, my brother Amare.  Not a brotha, but a fellow tribesman.

Yuri Foreman: The Great White Jewish Hope?

I was reading the as-per-usual sub-par ESPN the Magazine that has more fluff than interesting sports analysis and stumbled upon the boxing section (one of two I usually skip instinctively along with the useless left handed turning convention of southerners known as NASCAR).

The small magazine piece talked about big time promoter Bob Arum who "says the highlight of his career is still just up ahead."  The highlight he is speaking of is Yuri Foreman.


Russian & Jewish, perfect Boxing breeding?

The piece continues,

"Arum is glad to be the one returning boxing to the Bronx, but the fight matters to him for another reason. Like Arum, Foreman is Jewish (an aspiring rabbi, actually); the Israeli national anthem will play as he enters the ring. 'I'll be thinking of what my late mom and dad would think,' Arum says. 'They weren't so happy I went into this sport.  Hearing 'Hatikva' will be my greatest moment in boxing."

You've heard of the great white hope, now add a dash of a Hebrew pugilistic bomber and you've got Yuri Foreman.  He will be fighting Miguel Cotto, who lost to Pacquiao and is trying to rebuild himself a bit by fighting Foreman, who also happens to be undefeated.  Arum says if he beats Foreman, he might get another shot at Manny.  According to multiple sources, Arum originally tried to get Pacquiao to fight Foreman but failed and went to Cotto. 

The fight interestingly enough will take place at Yankee Stadium, and even more interestingly to a prospective Rabbi, it is on a Saturday night.  So this means that it might be tough for Religious Jews to actually go to the fight, although the smart ones avoid the Bronx at all costs unless they want to lose their car.

On the Rabbi front, his Wikipedia says Foreman "studies the Talmud and Jewish mysticism in the morning, trains for boxing in the afternoon and attends rabbinical classes twice a week at the IYYUN Institute, a Jewish educational center in Gowanus."

ESPN's long piece news program E:60 just produced a piece on the buildup:

And a Jew is even more unlikely to pay $50 or $60 so thankfully it is free if you have HBO.  I took an informal survey over Memorial Day Weekend at some Jewish BBQs in Teaneck and found that most of them had heard about the fight, none were planning on watching or attending but they knew a few people who were. 

Foreman does not have the culturally identied contingent like a Pacquaio or many Latino fighters like Oscar De La Hoya does to fill the stands.  He is not a Sandy Koufax or a Hank Greenberg, where Jews have begun to support them because they are Jewish and sucessful.  He is undefeated but he doesn't have the signature wins to make people notice him in the general public.  But if he wins this fight, maybe that changes.  Yuri Foreman could be the next big Jewish sports icon.

He could be the Hebrew Hammer but that name is taken by multiple people (see the movie & the slugger).


That's a rare sight.

May Hashem be with you Yuri.  Keep your Panim safe.  The fight takes place this Saturday June 5 on HBO at about 11 PM EST.



On the humorous side, if he does become that famous maybe he can open a Boxing Synangogue like these guys opened on MMA churches, as featured on the Daily Show:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
God Smacked
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

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Related Links:

The Quest For A Competitive HBO Telecast (BoxingScene)

Dunkin' Donuts, intense training and self belief (Newark Examiner)

The return of boxing to the Bronx (USA Today)

Yuri Foreman on Wikipedia

Holy Rollers - Drugs & Hasidic Jews

via /Film

If you are in the Jewish community and haven't heard of Holy Rollers, a indie film that's been making the film festival circuit rounds for a while now, consider this advance warning of a topic of conversation that will soon pop up in the religious community especially in families with teenagers and recent college graduates without a job. Why you ask? Because parents see things in realistic looking movies and on the evening news and think how does this apply to my life even if its the farthest thing from the truth and worry that it might be happening right under their nose.

So what will parents worry about with Holy Rollers? One is that it might shine a bad light on possibly the Jewish faith. This happens with any movie that might have give a negative impression of Jews in general especially in movies. There was the interracial love of Renee Zwelleger in A Price Above Rubies, Melanie Griffith as an undercover cop in the Hasidic Community in Sidney Lumet's A Stranger Among Us, and the perceived portrayal of Jews in Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ. Don't forget Trembling Before G-d, the 2006 controversial documentary about Hasidic homosexuals.


Melanie Griffith in A Stranger Among Us (via Seraphic Secret)

In Holy Rollers, Jesse Eisenberg (Zombieland, Adventureland, The Squid & The Whale) plays a young Jewish Hasidic man who becomes involves in drugs, primarily as a drug mule. Some parents might be proud at the prospect of their child becoming entrepreneurial but I see this a small segment of the child rearing population.



A trailer will do the plot better justice and will be more enjoyable. That's why they make them or to throw you of the scent of a bad movie which I don't believe is the case here.

Holy Rollers comes out in limited release next Friday May 21 (AKA Shabbat) in select cities, but I'm gonna guess one of those select cities will be the New York metropolitan area. While you won't here shouts on TV of protest, you'll hear whispers and rumblings to not support this kind of film, see it, or even acknowledge its existence.

The film, according to various articles, is inspired by actual events and I can tell you that from personal experience and knowledge that kids who need money with a bit on entrepreneurial spirit that hang out with kids flush with disposable income and too much time on their hands will ultimate fill that time and take that money if led down this path. Drugs are a quick way to make quick cash and it is very unlikely that Jewish youngsters will be pulled over for a drug stop based on racial profiling like some of other races.

I have not seen the film but I will definitely will, which isn't a stretch because I usually see any movie that might even mildly interests me and some that don't (Side note: If you are looking for a dark comedy about the hyper consumer culture, check out The Joneses, a film currently out in theaters starring David Duchovny & Demi Moore. Yes it does sound like a B movie from the cast by the premise is an A with B+ execution).

On the lighter side, one of the film's costars Rapper Q-Tip wants to "enjoy Sabbath" according to the NY Daily News:

"I'm going to enjoy Sabbath on Saturday, so on Friday at sunset I'm going to turn off my TV, my radio - I'm not going to do anything," says the rapper, who plays an Ecstasy dealer in a Hasidic community in the flick. 'And then when the sun sets on Saturday night, I'm going to raise hell!"

In this modern world, we could all use a respite, which is why many covet there time where the modern world kind of disappears on a weekly basis.

So Holy Rollers, what do you think? Did you see it? Will you see it?

Related Links:

Rolling with not so holy Chasidim (Jewish Journal)
Blog Post on A Stranger Among Us by Robert Avrech, Jewish Screenwriter (Seraphic Secret)
Holy Rollers Official Site
Holy Rollers on Rotten Tomatoes

North Jersey Jew Report: Israel & The Winter Olympics

The Jews are by and large an not Olympic bunch, although we did have plenty of representatives in Beijing. We prefer events that we can win without risk of injury or prizes that we can buy. Our interests lie with things that involve other Jews or Israel.

Jews are competitive but within their own kind. Most are not blessed with extraordinary size, speed, or strength unless you consider Rabbinical bellies and their fullness or if their were a beard growing contest, we could probably put up a good fight. But we also don't forget the locales where our resolve once was once tested, and stand up in face of that for as long as we can breathe. Our resolve to exist and be proud of it is unlike any other especially since Munich is bidding in 2018 to be the first host city ever to host both Olympics.

Israel is not really a cold weather country. The one time I visited there was about an inch and a half of light powder on the ground and the city came to a halt. You'll probably never see a more scared Israeli soldier than our driver when we asked why we wouldn't be driving up to Safed that day. He just gave us a blank stare and yelled in Hebrew, "Can't you see what's happening out there?" Our group of mostly metropolitan North-easterners just looked outside confused until it was explained to us that the country doesn't even have snow tires. On the rare occurrence that it does snow, the country pretty much shuts down. So in the Northeastern US it takes about a foot to shut down daily activities, in Israel it just takes a few flakes.

But since the Vancouver Winter Olympics are plastered on and crammed into an array of NBC-related airwaves, will Israel have any representatives at the Olympics? Yes they will in fact and not just the one random Alpine skiier that most countries throw out their so their flag can appear in the opening ceremonies. There are three. One is that obligatory Alpine skiier Mikail Renzhin, who will compete in the Slalom & giant slalom events. Any chance of petitioning these events for a name change? How about the shalom and the giant shalom events? Peace... the Olympics... get it.

Israel's other two representative's will be a brother and sister Ice Skating duo, Roman and Alexandra Zaretsky. According to the JTA, "The Zaretskys finished seventh in the 2010 European Championships, which earned them an Olympics berth. They are scheduled to skate to "Hava Nagila" and the music of "Schindler's List." It is their second Olympics."


The dynamic Israeli duo appear to be in pain.

Couldn't we get a little more creative than "Hava Nagila", even though it is the anthem of bar mitzvahs worldwide? And seriously, the music for "Schindler's List?" This isn't the Oscars, where you make a just put a Holocaust reference in and get nominated. For one night, can we avoid reminding the world, why Israel was created?

According to a post in J. Weekly by Ben Harris,

"Israeli is sending three athletes to compete in Vancouver ... It is Israel’s smallest delegation to the Winter Games since 1998, when the nation also sent three athletes. Israel sent five athletes to each of the last two Winter Games — in Turin, Italy, in 2006 and Salt Lake City in 2002. Israel’s first-ever appearance in the Winter Games was in 1994 in Lillehammer, France, when one Israeli athlete participated.

About 15 years ago, the Israeli Olympic Committee began applying demanding new standards to limit its Olympics delegation to athletes with a legitimate shot at a medal. Consequently, the summer delegations have gotten smaller and the winter delegations have remained tiny.

One casualty this year was Israeli figure skater Tamar Katz. Although she had already qualified for the Olympics based on international competitions, the tougher standards of the Israel’s Olympic Committee required at top-14 finish in last month’s European championships in Estonia. Hampered by illness, she made a mistake in her routine and finished 21st."

At least this makes sense, send only people with a chance. Many countries really do just send someone for the sake of expressing that they exist in the world like the Cayman Islands sending their first Olympian Dow Travers. An Olympian who went to boarding school in the UK, and attends Brown University, an ivy league school in Rhode Island. A true representative of the He placed 65th in the slalom event at the world championships and is also a member of the Cayman National Rubgy Team. According to his Wikipedia entry, "Dow is affectionately known as "the Ginga Ninja," "Ginger," "Nang," and "Ranga", and his housemate Jay Smith is known for his Call for Duty world ranking and his renownd [sic] Food baby."

That's a lot of nicknames... and what is a food baby? Ah yes, here's your answer from the always helpful Urban Dictionary, "when you eat so much, that your stomach looks pregnant." I have a feeling that this Jay Smith may have added this himself and embarrassed his very expensive education by misspelling something in his claim to fame. Does a country with a population or around 50,000 really need a national rugby team?

The New York Times, Israel's home newspaper in the USA, reported on the topic of Israeli Olympians in mid January and I think they explained the Olympic spirit best:

"It almost never snows in Israel, and there is only one regulation ice rink in the entire country, in Metulla, on the Lebanese border, where temperatures regularly reach 100 degrees. During the 2006 war with Hezbollah, the rink had to be closed for security reasons and the roof was damaged from shelling. Even now, the ice is not entirely reliable, and there are not enough hours in the day to accommodate everyone who wants to use it: speedskaters, figure skaters, and hockey nuts who drive three hours from Jerusalem for Thursday night games.

So it is no surprise that Israel is hardly a winter sports power. The country has been sending teams to the Winter Olympics only since 1994 and has yet to win a medal. Its best finish was 2002, when an ice-dancing pair, Galit Chait and Sergei Sakhnovski, finished sixth.

Eventually, an Israeli winter athlete with international aspirations must move elsewhere — to the mountains somewhere or, if he or she is a skater, to someplace like Bergen County, N.J. Chait began skating at Rockefeller Center.

Mikail Renzhin, a downhill skier who has already made the 2010 Israeli team, has been training in the United States for the last couple of years. And unless something unexpected happens at the European Figure Skating Championships, which start Tuesday in Tallinn, Estonia, Roman and Alexandra Zaretsky, a brother-sister ice-dancing pair, should also make the squad. They live in Garfield, N.J., and train at the Ice House, in Hackensack... The virtual capital of Israeli skating is Paramus, N.J., where Boris Chait lives after emigrating from Russia to Israel and then to this country. Chait, a 59-year-old who used to be a boxer and still looks it, is the president and chairman of the Israel Ice Skating Federation."

So the chairman of the Israeli Ice Skating Federation live in Northern Jersey. Now it all makes sense. As for the big question, who's paying for this mishegas...

"As of late December, he [Chait] explained, he had received only a quarter of the money he had been promised by the Israeli Olympic Committee, and for the time being he would have to make up the shortfall himself."

Now that sounds like a first class Jewing if you ask me. Here's hoping we have to schlep some gold home from Vancouver.

Britney Spears is Converting to Judaism?

Everybody knows that if you're from North Jersey, you tell people you're from New York and if you're from South Jersey, you tell people you're from Philly (the latter are known of South Jersey losers). So since I'm a sophisticated Jew, essentially form NYC, I have a subscription to the New Yorker. Unlike most Jews though, I don't usually enjoy their Shouts & Murmurs comedy section (AKA the one to two page comedy essay usually written by someone with a Jewish name, sometimes named Woody Allen). Unlike most New Yorker articles, Shouts isn't eighteen pages long, interesting yet overly wordy.

But last week's installment had an decidedly hysterical Jewish tone.


via New Yorker

Entitled Britney's Conversion Diary and based on the idea that Britney was considering converting for a new boyfriend (according to The Sun), this is one of the funnier pieces of humor writing I've read in a long time. Cursing, Jewish jokes, making fun of Rabbis & breaking down Jewish laws into tweets all in first paragraph. Enjoy!

Here's a sample if you're still not convinced, here is the previously described opening paragraph:

Shalom, Diary: I think Rabbi Pearlstein is really pissed at me. Today in Jewish class he was going through the Halakha, which I thought was the Jewish word for Hannah Montana but turns out to be like a whole bunch of boring laws about days of the week and pork and shit, and I was like, “Rabbi P., is there any way you could break this down into a bunch of tweets? I’ll read it on my phone on the way to rehearsal.” He got so mad those curls on the sides of his head started shaking. (I don’t know why he won’t let my stylist snip them off. They’re not a good look for him, K.?) On the plus side, he taught me this awesome Jewish trivia fact: You don’t have to call Jewish people “Jewish people.” It turns out they don’t mind being called plain old “Jews.” LOL.

Nazi Gnomes = Art?

This isn't specifically NJ related but anything Nazi related is of great importance to North Jersey Judaism.

via Time Magazine

What could possibly make someone want to create gnomes giving the Nazi salute? Let the artist speak for himself:

The gnome's creator, German artist Ottmar Hörl, says he never intended to offend anyone, and can't understand what all the fuss is about. He points out that 700 of his saluting gnomes went on show in Ghent, Belgium, at the end of last year to no complaints. "They were part of an exhibition against the far right," he says. "Nobody had a problem with them." Each of the gnomes has the word poisoned inscribed at its base. "People everywhere in the world can be ideologically poisoned, just as Germans were by the Nazis," says Hörl. The artist defends his work as a form of satire — he just wanted to poke fun at the Nazis by depicting them as gnomes. "I would probably have been killed by the Nazis if I'd dared to depict the Aryan 'super race' as gnomes in 1942," he says.

Hörl, 59, says he's fascinated by the symbol of the garden gnome, which has its origins in Germany — many believe the first ceramic garden gnomes were made in the central German town of Gräfenroda in the mid-19th century — and regularly features it in his work. "The garden gnome is an ironic figure," he says. "We don't take it seriously, but it can hold a serious message."

Germany takes this stuff pretty seriously; they are pretty stringent on their Nazi stuff. Prosecutors are currently looking into the case. Oh, what a world.

Read the full article, Nazi Gnomes in Germany.