Britney Spears is Converting to Judaism?

Everybody knows that if you're from North Jersey, you tell people you're from New York and if you're from South Jersey, you tell people you're from Philly (the latter are known of South Jersey losers). So since I'm a sophisticated Jew, essentially form NYC, I have a subscription to the New Yorker. Unlike most Jews though, I don't usually enjoy their Shouts & Murmurs comedy section (AKA the one to two page comedy essay usually written by someone with a Jewish name, sometimes named Woody Allen). Unlike most New Yorker articles, Shouts isn't eighteen pages long, interesting yet overly wordy.

But last week's installment had an decidedly hysterical Jewish tone.


via New Yorker

Entitled Britney's Conversion Diary and based on the idea that Britney was considering converting for a new boyfriend (according to The Sun), this is one of the funnier pieces of humor writing I've read in a long time. Cursing, Jewish jokes, making fun of Rabbis & breaking down Jewish laws into tweets all in first paragraph. Enjoy!

Here's a sample if you're still not convinced, here is the previously described opening paragraph:

Shalom, Diary: I think Rabbi Pearlstein is really pissed at me. Today in Jewish class he was going through the Halakha, which I thought was the Jewish word for Hannah Montana but turns out to be like a whole bunch of boring laws about days of the week and pork and shit, and I was like, “Rabbi P., is there any way you could break this down into a bunch of tweets? I’ll read it on my phone on the way to rehearsal.” He got so mad those curls on the sides of his head started shaking. (I don’t know why he won’t let my stylist snip them off. They’re not a good look for him, K.?) On the plus side, he taught me this awesome Jewish trivia fact: You don’t have to call Jewish people “Jewish people.” It turns out they don’t mind being called plain old “Jews.” LOL.